Special Edition Part 1: It All Started With a Bunch of Flowers and a Bottle of Champagne...

Hi ,

Welcome to this week’s edition of the newsletter.

This week, I’m honouring someone who held a special place in my heart.

I’m dedicating a two-part edition to my father-in-law, Hormoz, who sadly passed away last week.

In 2007, I had the privilege of meeting Hormoz for the first time..

Things were becoming serious with his daughter (my now wife), and tradition required that I seek her father’s blessing before moving forward.

I knew I wanted to marry her, and she did too, so as is customary, I had to ask for her father's blessing before we could proceed.

This was not something I could approach casually.

I had to plan the encounter carefully to ensure it unfolded naturally.

Armed with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of Moët, I arrived at their apartment, equal parts nervous and hopeful.

In my imagination, the meeting would be tense.

I pictured an imposing, reserved man answering the door.

In my most exaggerated fears, I would panic, drop my gifts, and retreat hastily, vowing to try again another day!

I couldn’t be more wrong.

As fate would have it, Hormoz was on his way out when I arrived.

After introducing myself and handing him the flowers and champagne, he smiled warmly and said, “It’s very nice to meet you.”

He promptly returned the gifts to me with a simple instruction: “Take these upstairs to my daughter.” Then, with a polite farewell, he headed off to meet a relative.

The vision of me returning home with a black eye was replaced with a much different and happy one.

That first interaction revealed a man who was approachable, kind, and disarmingly relaxed.

It was a moment that set the tone for the relationship we would share for the next 17 years.

Hormoz was visiting the UK from Iran on business and staying with his daughter, which meant I had just a week to find the right moment to ask for his blessing.

Knowing he was a snooker enthusiast (and an accomplished player), I decided to create an opportunity for us to connect.

I wasn’t too bad myself at the time, so I thought, "This may hold the key."

Take him to a fun environment, let him get into his element, and then gradually ask him.

D-day arrived.

We went to a snooker club in Manchester one evening, and while he may have thought it was time to show me who the boss was and annihilate me with the cue ball, I had other plans.

My strategy was simple: let him take an early lead, ensure he was in good spirits, and then broach the topic of marriage.

So that’s exactly what I did.

Once he pocketed a few blacks and set himself up for a nice red in the top left-hand corner, I said, ‘I wanted to ask you a question, If I may.’

I don’t think he heard me, as it was one of those full-force centre-ball shots where the cue ball needs to stay in place to set you up nicely for yet another black.

He seemed focused, so I repeated myself, suddenly worried I had only imagined saying it out loud.

He turned to me and said, “Go ahead, Saieed. What is it you want to ask?.”

In a voice that betrayed my nerves, I asked for his blessing to marry Azi.

His response was measured. “Let’s discuss it when we get home,” he said.

My heart sank, and I was expecting a quick two-minute conversation back home, which would have involved something like, ‘You’re too young, emotional, and have no solid future or plan, so give it another five years, and maybe we’ll talk about it again, yeah?’

The journey back felt endless, filled with imagined scenarios, each worse than the last.

Yet when we sat down to talk, Hormoz surprised me once again.

He asked me a single, profound question: “Why?”

Isn’t that interesting? It’s a common one that coaches like myself and leaders ask.

We are told to get to the ‘why’ and align the individual ‘why’ with the overall ‘why’ and that’s leadership.

What followed was a deeply personal exchange that I will always hold close to my heart. In the end, he gave his blessing.

At the time, I was a new manager with no guarantees of a stable future, but Hormoz saw something in me.

His belief in my potential gave me the confidence to move forward with clarity and purpose.

Despite my circumstances at the time, he supported my decision.

Reflecting on the experience, I’m reminded of his kindness and positivity, which made me feel strong and confident that I had made the right decision.

Over the past 17 years of knowing Hormoz, he has made me feel that way numerous times, and when I speak to others, he has made them feel the same.

Hormoz’s story began as part of one of Tehran’s esteemed “four millionaire families” in the 1960s.

These families were titans of industry in pre-revolution Iran, and his lineage was one of influence and accomplishment.

His father, a visionary entrepreneur, founded the Iranian Tool Sellers Guild, which was celebrated both in Iran and internationally. Among his accolades was an award from the late Queen of England, honouring his contributions to the industry in the United Kingdom.

Despite this illustrious heritage, Hormoz’s father believed in self-reliance. He made his expectations for his youngest son clear: “Go out there alone because I don’t wish to spoil you like I did your brothers and sisters.”

With this mandate, Hormoz embarked on a journey to carve his own path.

He became one of Iran’s leading private industrialists, running a major industrial measurement and tooling company for many years.

But life wasn’t always kind.

Profound challenges marked the last two decades of Hormoz’s life.

He faced betrayals, setbacks, and the daunting task of starting over.

He fell from great heights. Yet, he refused to break.

What stands out most about Hormoz?

He lived. He truly ‘Lived.’

Hormoz lived life with an intensity and fullness that few achieve, even when faced with immense challenges.

His outlook, positivity, and resilience left an indelible mark on me.

In 2014, during one of the most difficult periods of my life, Hormoz became my anchor.

His unwavering support and grounded outlook helped me regain clarity and strength.

But there’s more to him than his remarkable attitude or resilience. What I personally remember most is his capacity for forgiveness.

Hormoz had a rare gift. The capacity to extend kindness even to those who had wronged him.

Forgiveness, for him, was an act of liberation, a conscious choice to move forward unburdened by resentment.

His ability to let go and approach life with an open heart became his most defining legacy.

Despite enduring profound hardships, Hormoz maintained his humanity with remarkable consistency.

He left this world free from bitterness, having made peace with himself and others.

Even when he was diagnosed, his outlook remained grounded: “I know that I have to pay consequences for the things I’ve done to my health. I’ll either beat it or won’t, and I’m okay with both.”

These words encapsulate the essence of Hormoz, a man who accepted life with grace, no matter the circumstances.

Even those who had wronged him showed up at his memorial, tears in their eyes.

Hormoz’s legacy lives on in the lives he touched, the lessons he imparted, and the example he set.

For me, his wisdom is distilled into a single, powerful question that continues to guide my choices:

What Would Hormoz Do?

To be continued tomorrow…

Thanks for reading.

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